The Princess the Penis edition by RJ Silver Literature Fiction eBooks
Download As PDF : The Princess the Penis edition by RJ Silver Literature Fiction eBooks 
A beautiful, chaste, and completely naive princess encounters a strange lump in her mattress. The lump soon morphs into a shape familiar to everyone but her, triggering her curiosity and her father's greatest fears. He frantically tries to intervene, but having a large phantom phallus in a curious maiden's bed is never a good combination.
The Princess the Penis edition by RJ Silver Literature Fiction eBooks
So many of my friends have read this book. It was quite the sensation when it first came out, with people going, "Look at this...omg...is it for real?" A lot of books have that effect on people, but in the reviews, my friends were giving this book fairly high ratings and saying it was so much more than it seemed. "Not smut," they said, "but actually quite clever and witty."...Witty, you say? Tell me more.
But no, you all had to be so danged secretive. Your reviews were frustratingly vague, filled with laughing gifs, but no details.
No details!
No, I had to go out and read the book for myself to get an idea of what it was really about (the audacity!). And, like so many others, I was pleasantly surprised.
This is actually a pretty clever retelling of "The Princess and the Pea" fairy tale. THE PRINCESS & THE PENIS is about a sheltered princess whose virginity is guarded by her over-protective father who wants her to stay pure so he can marry her off to a prince. One day, however, she discovers that her mattress has a lump in it of a curious shape and quality, that is intriguing and pleasant...
Her distressed parents do what they can to get rid of the lump, panicked by the thought that their chaste princess might not remain so chaste for her upcoming wedding if they can't do something about it - soon.
But what is the lump? And how did it get into the princess's bed?
Honestly, I thought this was going to be one of those silly, so-bad-it's-good erotica novels that seem to be a dime a dozen these days, but PRINCESS & THE PENIS is actually a witty, sex-positive satire that urges the importance of sex ed. and sex positivity. I also liked how it implied that men who want to date virgins only tend to be insecure jerks, and that sexual exploration should not be punished.
Plus, the princess's aunts were hilarious. Their comments were seriously A+.
3 out of 5 stars.
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The Princess the Penis edition by RJ Silver Literature Fiction eBooks Reviews
With Beauty and The Beast out in theatres, and everything fairy tale reinvented, it was brought to my attention by an author this story was out there. So I read it ...because you know….the title begs you to “read me.”
It’s a well written short story and unabashedly funny. A sort of tongue-in-cheek twisted tale with very adult humor that had me laughing out loud at some parts. I have to give it to Mr. Silver for such an imagination. And I hope he continues to hide from his wife, and crank out more wonderfully funny tales.
3.5
*Book source ~ Free on
I think the title is pretty much self-explanatory.
An entertaining read and certainly not as naughty as I thought it was going to be considering the title. Talk about extreme lengths though. Heh eh I said extreme lengths. *snorts* But really what I meant was the King really wants to make sure his daughter grows up ignorant about the facts of life, so when this innocent Princess is getting nightly visits from a phantom phallus she is completely clueless as to what it is which leads to some interesting situations for the royal family. And that ending? LOL
This! Book!
So, we have a princess and a penis, of course. The princess has an overprotecting father and the penis is first described as a lump in the mattress by the most innocent girl.
"The omen here is that your daughter is putting a giant, erect penis between her legs and says it feels good. Now are you going to let me talk to her about this or not?"
"The little creature isn't evil. It's warm and gentle and loving. Why, it felt as wonderful between my breasts as it did between my legs."
The Princess & the Penis is a very good book for parents. Let it be a tale for those who seek to overprotect their children. Things rarely turn out as their parents want them to, and ignorance can do a lot more damage than knowledge.
P.S. Prince Longwood.
The Princess and The Penis was a very original take on a classic fairy tale. The only thing missing was a villain. It was well written and paced well. I especially enjoyed the aunties! Like every father, the King tried to keep his little girl pure, but his quest to protect her left her ignorant of the real world.
I absolutely loved the 'Frog and the Flies' session the Queen and Aunties have with Amalia. The saying 'It takes a Village' comes to mind to describe that scene. Amalia was very lucky to have such animated characters in her life to explain sex, men and penises to her. All little princesses should be so lucky.
A chaste sweet and beautiful princess is kept ignorant of the difference between men and women. Yet she is engaged to Prince Rupert to help her father's kingdom. One day she complains of an annoying lump in her mattress which bothers her bottom all night.
When she describes the lump it appears to be a very large set of male reproductive parts. Very very large.
The King tries everything he can think of to red the princess of the annoying phallus. However the princess believes it to be like a sweet warm pet.
Both the palace priest and the wizard try to rid the princess of her nighttime visitor..
Finally the girl is taught the facts of life, yet she still spends much of her day in bed..
The king is horrified and demands for IT to be gone.
I'll not spoil the end, which is rather sweet. Everything works out, but with a few interesting twists. A delightful story.
A story filled with stereotypes. Of course her betrothed is no good for her. Of course he has nothing between his legs. Of course her disguised lover is a handsome alpha male with the biggest dong. Of course no one realizes he is a molester and a rapist. This has some funny moments but the stereotypes ruin it. What is the moral? The biggest dick wins? That's disgusting.
A better ending would be Rupert being a good guy and chopping the rapist into sausage splices
So many of my friends have read this book. It was quite the sensation when it first came out, with people going, "Look at this...omg...is it for real?" A lot of books have that effect on people, but in the reviews, my friends were giving this book fairly high ratings and saying it was so much more than it seemed. "Not smut," they said, "but actually quite clever and witty."
...Witty, you say? Tell me more.
But no, you all had to be so danged secretive. Your reviews were frustratingly vague, filled with laughing gifs, but no details.
No details!
No, I had to go out and read the book for myself to get an idea of what it was really about (the audacity!). And, like so many others, I was pleasantly surprised.
This is actually a pretty clever retelling of "The Princess and the Pea" fairy tale. THE PRINCESS & THE PENIS is about a sheltered princess whose virginity is guarded by her over-protective father who wants her to stay pure so he can marry her off to a prince. One day, however, she discovers that her mattress has a lump in it of a curious shape and quality, that is intriguing and pleasant...
Her distressed parents do what they can to get rid of the lump, panicked by the thought that their chaste princess might not remain so chaste for her upcoming wedding if they can't do something about it - soon.
But what is the lump? And how did it get into the princess's bed?
Honestly, I thought this was going to be one of those silly, so-bad-it's-good erotica novels that seem to be a dime a dozen these days, but PRINCESS & THE PENIS is actually a witty, sex-positive satire that urges the importance of sex ed. and sex positivity. I also liked how it implied that men who want to date virgins only tend to be insecure jerks, and that sexual exploration should not be punished.
Plus, the princess's aunts were hilarious. Their comments were seriously A+.
3 out of 5 stars.
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